Nwitte-Eze Nkechi

WHY WOMEN CAN’T BE TAKEN VERY SERIOUSLY


Women complain they are hardly taken seriously in the society, but is that the case? Yes. The reasons are enormous so we can therefore not dive into all the many reasons, but this post would analyze one very important reason and that is the overly dependent nature of most Nigerian women. For the purpose of clear understanding, we would limit this discussion to the obvious owning of cars and homes in Nigeria.

Men buy cars very early, men own houses very early, men start businesses very early, But all most women think to do very early is get married; the question is why? A critical research shows that most women fancy cars and good houses way more than men do. ironic right? Yes. Very ironic to see how most women don’t seem to be willing to go the extra mile for what they really love but prefer to depend on the male folk who are not as blown away by this things, for the provision of them. This is not to say, men don’t love cars and good houses, on the contrary they really do love them, but not half as much as women love them.

I don’t know all the reasons why about 80% of the cars driven on Nigerian roads and about 70% of the homes in Nigeria are owned by men, but here are a few reasons that could pass.

Women are thought to live with their parents until they are married, but men are not thought the same:

Talking about houses, lots of women are most times thought to live with their parents until they are married, therefore moving directly from their parent’s house to their husband’s house. The reasons many parents give for this include, the fact that men can get intimidated by a woman who can provide a home for herself, or the fact that a female living on her own could become too free and uncontrollable and these could make men perceive her as indecent, therefore ruining her chances of getting married early, or even the obvious reason that since her husband would provide her a home, what then is the need to seek for one, when she can save cost and leave with her parents until she is married. As valid as these reasons may be to some, we cannot ignore the fact that it is a contributing factor to the female over dependent nature in Nigeria.

The female feeling of entitlement:

A lot of women love cars, some even say they can’t marry a man without a car, if cars were so important, why don’t aspire to own them like men aspire to own them? A lot of women love men who own comfortable apartments, why don’t aspire to own that too? Women prefer to sit and expect things to be handed down to them. If a comfortable life was so important why don’t you work hard to give yourself one? Why are women not taught to aspire to own these things on their own or through their own efforts rather than wait for it to be handed down to them? With this in view, gender equality would only be a myth until there is a shift in the female mindset and the education given to females in Nigeria. Lots of women stay years without cars, until a male folk (father, brother, husband or boyfriend) buys this for them even when they really need it, and even if they can afford it themselves. The question is why? Why wait, why feel entitled? Women need to change that entitlement mindset and learn to go for what they want rather than wait for it to be handed over to them.

The society educates females wrongly:

The society educates males to work hard and earn a living so they can find a wife, while they teach females to find a husband if a job is difficult to find. And any other aspirations can be lived up in her husband’s house.

Society makes a woman feel like she is being too ambitious when she wants cars and houses early in life. But she is not too ambitious when she desires a man who owns all of these things. What double standard? Why does the society educate females to be limited in their aspirations, but not males? There is great need for the society to end these wrong limiting ideas they keep passing down to females.

If women would be taken more seriously, they must learn to aspire more, and be less dependent on the male folks for everything, they must learn to give to themselves all they can and not always wait to be handed down everything. Women were designed as help mates, but they must learn to help themselves first, “you can’t help anyone with what you don’t have”. Women must begin to take themselves more seriously.

 

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